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Raising three Democrats and one Republican

Well, not really, but this may end up being the case. In a house full of liberals, the baby of the family seems to be exhibiting early signs of conservatism.

She was mortified when she saw her older brother wear an I Love Boobies bracelet. I tried to explain the purpose of the Keep A Breast Foundation campaign, but she didn’t care. She felt the bracelets and shirts alike were inappropriate.

When she saw the advertisements for the new Tyler Perry movie, For Colored Girls (2010), she expressed her nine year old disappointment that the producer didn’t simply call it For African American Girls. I’m not kidding. I tried to explain that “colored” wasn’t necessarily a derogatory word, but again she countered with “it still isn’t right”.

At the dinner table she refrains from joining in some of our more potty mouth discussions. She says “we shouldn’t talk about those things at the table”.

Just last night the topic of gays and lesbians came up because she was reading my blog page out loud. She refused to say the word “gay”. I told her it wasn’t a bad word and asked if she knew what the word meant. She did and was  compelled to add, “that’s just horrible, mommy”. All I could think was, ‘Oh no, I’m going to have to sit this girl down a lot sooner than I expected and give her a  good talking to.’

I have no clue where some of her ideas are coming from, definitely not from our house, but even at nine she’s so strong minded, I just want to make sure she knows that while it’s okay for her to be conservative, she’s still going to have to learn to respect the way other people live. Wish me luck people because it’s not the easiest thing trying to rationalize with a kid. I may walk out of that discussion with questions of my own.

He wears his sunglasses at night..and everywhere else..

My husband is driving me nuts. I can’t get him to take off his sunglasses. He wears them everywhere; in the house, in the car, in the club, in the dark, on the boat, at night, in restaurants. WTF? I’m beginning to think he thinks they give him superpowers. A brand whore at that, he’s proclaimed himself a sunglass connoisseur.

If he doesn’t cut it out by the time we’re 6o, I’m not going to sit beside him at the retirement home. He better find himself some too old groupie to do that.

Protected: Adventures at Six Flags

November 9, 2010 Enter your password to view comments.

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Cruise Escapades

November 5, 2010 1 comment

First impression..why are there more Filipino workers on this boat than there are Filipinos in all of Austin? I kept expecting some guest to ask me for fresh towels or to take their order. And why does this ship resemble a 1970’s casino?

Gayribbean…no, I did not make that word up. While I was booking the cruise I was so concerned with affordability I didn’t realize I had booked us on a Gayribbean Cruise. That was the official name. A few hundred gay guys…I’m from San Francisco so it actually took me two days to notice. All good, it wasn’t a bad thing.

Eye candy…I seemed to serve as the eye candy for a lot of the black men on board and in some cruel circle of a joke many of the gay men served as my eye candy.

On using the bathroom…the first time we heard a ship toilet flush

one of the girls was supposed to be taking a shower. It’s a scary sound and we had no idea what it was. I had to send in my oldest son to make sure his sister didn’t get swallowed up by the ship.

Sail and Sign card…the ship ran cashless so you had to charge everything to your room key/Sail and Sign card which was linked to your credit card. My husband was so excited in the first 3o hours he spent $156.00 on drinks for himself. I took away his Sail and Sign card the second night and told him to find another way to be that happy.

Silly things we find amusing…while watching the girls swim on the boat my husband and I watched a four year old boy, who weighed an easy 70 plus pounds, go down the five foot tall mini waterslide at least three dozen times. Each time he slid down the entire front row of sunbathers would get drenched. His oblivious mother kept egging him on once more.

Hairy man contest…this was a real event. There’s nothing like watching heavy and hairy middle aged men, to be exact; a plumber, an A/C guy, an IT manager, and a UPS driver, gyrate shirtless to Dancing Queen by ABBA.

Hip hop dance class..throw on a jumpsuit, wear a pair of Adidas shoes with the fat laces, chew gum from the right side of your mouth, say you’re from Puerto Rico and voila! You have a certified cruise hip hop dance instructer.

Meeting people when you’re drunk…my husband’s first night on the boat he met a guy named Ted. They chatted it up, ran into one another several times, and we actually spent a day in Cozumel with him. It wasn’t until the third day he finally told my husband, “My name is actually Tay, not Ted. I didn’t realize I would end up hanging out with you so much so I didn’t bother correcting you, but I figured if you wanted to keep in touch you should probably know my real name.”

Catamaran sailing..on an excursion in Mexico we were provided with free unlimited margaritas, although they were completely watered down. Caught in the moment, I let my son have his first sip of alcohol. Just as he was taking a sip we passed another boat full of nude people. There was my fourteen year old sipping a margarita and looking at several sets of breasts and then some….talk about walking him into manhood. I tried to get him to close his eyes but he was not trying to hear me one bit.

Afterthought…being on a Carnival cruise line is a lot like being at a week long party on a vessel that resembles Circus Circus with lots of drunk people. We had a ton of fun, but next time around I’m saving up for a Disney cruise. It might be more family friendly.

How can you tell when your son is going through puberty?

October 28, 2010 1 comment

He starts taking showers two to three times a day. I’m not kidding. With our older son I thought he just started caring more about his hygiene, but my husband filled me in on the real deal. Initially I was too shocked and stunned to address the issue whereas my husband seemed more proud, in that ridiculous man kind of way. Of course, he didn’t find it so funny when our water bill increased 20%. That’s when he warned our son to “cut your showers down, I mean it, and you know what I’m talking about.” I did my part and started hiding my Victoria’s Secret catalogs.

Follow my rules

October 28, 2010 1 comment

I wandered into each of the girls’ rooms this morning and found that they had posted rules for each room. Here are the ones that made me smile.

  • When you step in my room, you live by my rules.
  • If you don’t like my rules, you better get out.
  • If you don’t follow my rules, well if you know my family by now, you should know you’re going to regret it.

I think this is what happens when you are growing up in my household, you confuse rules with threats. In my defense, the other rules were reasonable (clean up after yourself, no food, etc.) Well, at least my girls have moxy.  🙂

A teenager’s camping checklist

My almost 19 year old son went camping with a large group of his friends this past weekend. Of course, it was only 10 minutes away up by Lake Travis but still. This was my nightly text checklist for him.

  • Did you pack enough clothes? Should Mommy bring you more clothes?
  • Keep your butt clean, did you grab toilet paper from the house? Better yet just drive home if you have to do a number two.
  • Are you drinking? Stupid question.  Don’t drink and swim. Promise me.
  • No cliff jumping at night!
  • Don’t start a forest fire. Don’t let Ethan and them start a forest fire either.
  • Don’t share your sleeping bag with anybody..no girls in your sleeping bag or I will be very mad at you. Don’t make Mommy go there and tell some girl to keep her hands to herself.
  • Who is feeding you? You come home if you’re hungry.

I love you. Be safe. Mom.

By the way, he did drive home everytime he had to do a number two.

The lies parents tell…

When we first moved to Texas several years ago those ugly Croc shoes were very trendy. I abhor the things. They give me an itch to go clog dancing. So when the girls each asked me for a pair I told them no. They whined and complained that “everybody wore them, even their classmates”. I refused and finally told them that Asians don’t wear Crocs. Since there aren’t many Asians in Austin I figured they would be hard fetched  to prove me wrong. Besides at the time they were only five years old. Needless to say, they stopped asking.

This evening we were at the mall and saw the newest style of Croc sandals with fur. One of the girls stopped to admire a pair, but the other reminded her “Asians don’t wear Crocs remember?”

Oh no…

I think my youngest son’s new girlfriend might be a bit dense. I was cleaning his room and found a handmade card with big block letters that said, “To my favrite asain, I *heart* you.”

In the least, the poor girl is spelling challenged.

Dinner at my house

October 19, 2010 5 comments

Dinner is a favorite time at our house. We have a wipe board in the kitchen and every week we post that week’s dinner menu. My husband is a phenomenal cook which gives everyone more incentive to look forward to it. Unfortunately, since the children outnumber the adults our dinner conversation revolves more around pop culture or kid gossip and less politics or current events.

Here are some of the funnier comments overheard at my dinner table.

Regarding Justin’s 5 million plus Twitter followers. “I think Justin Bieber could beat Obama if he ran for President.”

“I don’t care if you can’t help it, if you fart at this table one more time I’m going to kick your *ss!”

After my brother shared his Kahlua ice cream. “Mommy, am I drunk? Is this drunk? Oh no, I think I might be drunk.”

“Daddy, the dogs keep trying to hump eachother under the table.”

Our meatitarian to the vegetarian. “When Daddy’s not looking give me all your meat and you can have my vegetables.”

The week I tried to make only healthy dinners, this is the night I served only salad. “Mom, are we broke this week? Oh..OK..then where’s our real dinner?”

Same week. I tried to feed my Asian husband brown rice. “What the hell is this?”

“Aw crap, one of the dogs is peeing on my feet.”

This wasn’t even my kid. He was a friend of my son’s and apparently never ate canned meat before. “Wow, this is good. What’s this called again? Corned beef? And they sell it at HEB? Is this Filipino food?” No kid, this is actually family on a budget food.

When I asked why one of the kids didn’t come down for dinner. “We tied her up. She’s still trying to get out.”

Now I realize my family leans a bit towards off-color humor, maybe too much for your taste, but silly as it may sound for an educated adult to say, still, I’ll take that potty humor any day over the grown up stuff. I spend all day, and several hours in the evenings in class, talking about reports, deadlines, equations, and logistics. There’s a time and place for everything and if my kids prefer to laugh at dinner, then I’ll take that. Every chance I get I’ll choose the sounds of their laughter to wrap up my day.

Protected: What will you choose?

September 12, 2010 Enter your password to view comments.

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