Home > Uncategorized > The Single Parent’s Anthem

The Single Parent’s Anthem

I’m the one who explained why you left, the one who dealt with their anger, their frustration and tears.

I have defended you because it’s better than telling them to give up on you.

And because it hurts less than hating you.

I have paid for all their flights to see you, and even some of yours, so you saw them at all.

I reminded you to call them on their birthdays, to text them during their bad weeks, and then pretended I didn’t.

But I am the one who has been there, since day one and every day in between.

I’m the full-time mother, the part-time father, their financial advisers, their #1 fans, their Lyft service, their advocates, their therapists, and their life teachers.

I planned all their birthday parties and checked off their Christmas lists.

I reemed them when they missed classes, praised them when they got As, and consoled them when they didn’t get the grades they thought they deserved.

Then I helped them look at colleges, filled out their financial aid, and edit their college applications.

I signed their car notes, reviewed their leases, scheduled all their appointments, taught them how to budget and even cook themselves dinner.

I have had the hard conversations with them, the ones about sex, heartbreak, adulting, and how to care for their mental health.

I watched and hurt with them for every single disappointment they’ve had since you left, and to be honest, even all the years before that.

I have taken all of their calls, including the scary ones that came in after 2am.

I picked them up, literally and figuratively, when they were lost.

I taught them about love and loyalty, and also what bull shit smells like.

And while you complain about child support, I creatively find ways to pay the other 90% of their expenses you think you shouldn’t have to cover.

I am the ride-or-die parent, the real-deal-superwoman-single mom, who has sacrificed much to give them lives that don’t lack, despite your absence.

So, when you ask me with callousness and undeserved annoyance, “What the hell do you want,” my simple answer is this –

Be a good dad, a better man.

Respect the mother of your children.

And show some gratitude that while our children may carry your name, they bear all of my heart.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Geri
    January 14, 2019 at 4:32 PM

    Love this and I can relate fully. Thanks for this

    • January 14, 2019 at 8:22 PM

      I was looking for you on FB to tag you! You are apparently off social media right now.

  2. Sil
    January 14, 2019 at 8:25 PM

    I can relate too! Breaks my heart, I’ll never understand it. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Laura Taylor
    January 15, 2019 at 6:35 PM

    Wow!! So powerful! Thank you for sharing!

  4. Angela Alvarado
    January 15, 2019 at 7:22 PM

    Beautiful – Nom!!! We will always be their ROCK!!!

  5. Meredith B aka Det
    January 15, 2019 at 9:55 PM

    Omg I’m crying…. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. I look up to you and hope I have the strength you have, if and when I am in that situation. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Chona Santos
    January 15, 2019 at 10:32 PM

    L. O. V. E. I. T!!!

  7. Jeng
    January 16, 2019 at 11:43 AM

    You are beautiful Maritez!

  8. Nazia Bilwani
    January 25, 2019 at 6:17 AM

    Thank you Maria for sharing and I can relate too except my situation is worst because my children’s father ignore them completely. In my opinion it is brutal when your children constantly texting you and leaving you messages and you don’t even care enough to reply. Kids leave messages because they miss their Dad not because they need money. it has been almost 5 years my children has not seen their father and i believe he lives in the same city. He has been hiding from court so he does have to pay child support. I was mostly stayed home mom and part time student and I had no clue how to deal with all life situations but I became stronger for my children. I managed to work 16 hours shifts 7 days a week, cook fresh meal every single, pack their lunches and made sure their homework are done and took care needs and wants. I even manage to take them on vacations but when it comes to answer their questions, Mom why my dad does not want to talk? why he does not want to see us? are we his mistakes? Does he care we are alive? It breaks my heart in million pieces but I never respond anything negatively and made sure they do not hate their father or themselves. I always tell them your daddy loves you a lot but may be he is going through tough time and can’t reach out to you but that does not mean you cannot send him a message. You do your part because he is your daddy. I am very proud of my children, they are world to me and my strength. They are doing great in schools with average of 90 percent grades. They are happy children because I am always here for them, I laugh and play with like I’m a little kid and made sure they are always comfortable to share their feelings with me. My children knows, I am a Mom and Dad and I am proud of myself. I never thought that I am capable of doing so much. We are all human and make mistakes but kicking your children out of your life is not acceptable because you are simply hurting their feelings. It is a shame! I know you do not want to pay child support and that’s why you have been hiding but money is not everything what children needs from you. Maria You are awesome and a very strong lady. I thank you and all single parents who understand their responsibilities and do not neglect their children. Divorce separates parents, it should not change parents relationship with their children. I wish each parent understand!

  1. February 24, 2019 at 6:48 PM
  2. June 13, 2019 at 2:33 AM

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