He starts taking showers two to three times a day. I’m not kidding. With our older son I thought he just started caring more about his hygiene, but my husband filled me in on the real deal. Initially I was too shocked and stunned to address the issue whereas my husband seemed more proud, in that ridiculous man kind of way. Of course, he didn’t find it so funny when our water bill increased 20%. That’s when he warned our son to “cut your showers down, I mean it, and you know what I’m talking about.” I did my part and started hiding my Victoria’s Secret catalogs.
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Maria's Random Rants 
My mother was lucky I guess because I was never a shower masturbator. I’m sure that would change if they kept computers in showers.
This is why I think every house should come equipped with it’s own masturbation room. When someone wants to take care of business they enter the room, which is sound proof and full of the necessary materials, and then when they’re done and exit the room is immediately bleached and ready for use fifteen minutes later.
Just put up a fake camera and a sign in the shower that says “I’m watching you” and that should put an end to it. Or possibly creep him out and send him straight to therapy. I don’t know…I just thank God I’m not a parent.