Maria's Random Rants

At my mother-in-law’s request each of my children and I prepared short speeches that were intended to lead up nicely to the slideshow we also made for my father-in-law’s retirement party. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to recite them.

Two hours into the party and just a few minutes after the Giants beat the Phillies more than half of the guests were drunk, not tipsy, just outright drunk, including my father-in-law. I didn’t think enough people were sober enough to appreciate our sentimental words. I kept imagining drunk people clapping or hooting at the wrong times. Awkward. So I made a judgment call, skipped the speeches, and went straight to the slideshow. It was a good call. As we were watching the show my husband kept asking, “Whose kids are those?” Uuhh, yeah buddy, they’re yours.

Aside from that it was a fabulous, very typical Filipino party. You give butterfly cheek kisses to most everyone there, all 100 plus people. You’re greeted by a huge roasted pig with an apple in it’s mouth laid out on the front of the buffet table. The hall had an occupancy of 100, but we crammed 200 inside. It felt like summer in there. There was a table set aside for my father-in-law and all his barkada, complete with bowls of pulutan lined up neatly on the table, and strategically placed beside the liquor table littered with a dozen Hennessey and Remy Martin bottles.

Three hours into the party they folded up half the chairs and tables to make room for a dance floor where my mother-in-law proceeded to lead a small group of my aunties and uncles in performing the electric slide. An hour after that it was cha cha time. I LOVE CHA CHA TIME. My dad had to dance with my mother-in-law because by this time my father-in-law was too drunk to stand.

When my girls went outside to look for my husband they came back and reported he was “walking his friend like a dog”. What?!@# Apparently, he and his friends were so drunk one of them kept dropping his hat and each time he would crawl on all fours trying to pick it up. At one point, my husband took his friend by the collar when he was on all fours and told the girls he was walking his dog. His friend started barking. Now I know that sounds horrible, but they were drunk as heck, and it was still hillarious.

Closer to the end of the night I walked a few blocks down to visit another Filipino party where I saw my ex-husband, his new family, and all of my ex-in-laws, all of whom I still adore. They were all drunk there, too. His sister kept trying to do some dance, but it looked more like a perverted old man shuffle.. When I gave my ex-husband a hug good-bye he started laughing hysterically for whatever reason and then fell on the wall.  A lil’ birdie told me that when his wife took him home he rolled down the passenger side window and kept trying to touch the cars passing by.

My father-in-law’s party ended at midnight, but a large group came back to my in laws where they cooked steak and continued to drink until 3AM.  The kids slept together downstairs with their cousin, or rather they played strobelights with their Ipods in the dark until I told them to knock it off. I know, Filipinos LOVE to party.

Maria’s Quick Glossary
Barkada: clique
Pulutan: finger foods Filipinos like to eat while they’re drinking such as chicarones and fried salted fish

Rolling credits for the night….don’t forget to click play when you land on the link.
http://www.mixcrate.com/mix/14224/Dj-Davev-Filipino-Cha-Cha-Mix