Maria's Random Rants

*This is actually an oldie from my pre-blogging days.

Here are some interesting things that happened to me this past weekend.

I had to intervene in one of the kids’ arguments when it became physical.  Each of them was armed with an electric fly swatter, the same ones that jolt you with 1500 volts per zap.

While doing the laundry a small, lumpy brown turd rolled out from underneath one of the piles.  Pathetically enough, I couldn’t determine if it came from one of the dogs or the kids.

I lost the family at Walmart but found them 20 minutes later in the home and garden department sword fighting with the foam floatie noodles used for swimming.  My husband was refereeing.

Lastly, on our way home from Walmart we were at a stop sign occupied by a panhandler.  After my husband passes him some change he leans over and says, “Hey buddy, my wife just farted. It’s pretty bad, can you smell that?”

Yes, yes, I know, it sure is a wonderful life, isn’t it? 

Disclaimer: I did NOT fart in the car, remember I never do that kind of thing in front of my husband. He just thought it would be funny to tell someone I did. What a weirdo.